The Journey of Few

Monday, March 25, 2013

Painting by William Blake 

The Journey of Few
Kent Robinson

Sharp, jagged corners
Smooth, deceptive curves
Letters and symbols, slashes in stone
Spawned by dust and time and the minds of beasts

The shapes collaborate and conceive a monster
A breathing notion that stands in a line, a continuum that follows through the ocular into the mainframe
Tugging on neurons, tickling the frontal lobe
Wielding cognitive dissonance as a flaming sword
Bringing war to the fat and happy certainties snoozing between the ears

And the temple walls crack
The minutiae of canon loses clout and seeps out
And the walls crumble and fall
Into a blank slate that yearns for technicolor dreams, a sovereign system, an uncut trail        

O Great Mystery! Guide our hero through the dark night of the soul!
Let the shadows of uncertainty illuminate the way

Shepherd for a Season

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Ray stoked the fire in the iron-cast stove and placed an old, sturdy kettle on top. The trailer warmed,
fighting back the veins of frost on the windows. We sat solemnly in the same dirty clothes we’d been
wearing for the past several days, liberally drinking cups of black coffee to combat sleep while a small
battery-powered radio blasted local news and hits from the 90’s in between screeches of static. It was
our fourth straight day tailing the ewes across the Uintah National Forest. The feed atop the snow-
capped mountains was sparse and the lambs were sold, which meant it was time to get the mammas
down into the valley for the last of the fall grasses. The day before we had moved the herd 15 miles to
a corral up Chicken Creek, a small valley just north of Strawberry reservoir, and we had another 15 until
we hit Center Creek on the southeastern hills of Heber City, UT. From there, the herd would have about
a month and a half of feeding before being shipped to the desert for winter.

The sun had yet to peak over the thick forest of yellow pines and aspens that litter the west side of the
canyon, so we waited for it to thaw our path. We sat cozily in the 7 X 15 ft trailer while Ray reminisced
on his herding pastimes and childhood. As a young Navajo growing up on the reservation in western
New Mexico, herding appealed to him at an early age as a means to escape the cycle of poverty that
swallowed most of his peers. He dropped out of high school, moved to the mountains and never looked
back. Over the next fifty years he ended up working with numerous herds throughout New Mexico,
Colorado, California, and Utah.


Although Ray didn’t know exactly how old he was, the contours of his face and the wrinkles in his hands
spoke to his age, while his toothless, child-like smile revealed an innocent soul. He claims that the
mountains keep him young and staying away from liquor, the “white-man’s poison” keeps him alive.
He’s been sober for ten years, but prior to this stint of sobriety he spent decades in a drunken stupor.
He would drink morning, evening, and night. He would drink while riding. Sometimes he would be
passed out for days and not move the herd, leaving them without food and leaving himself without a
job. One time, a fellow Navajo herder named Isaac stopped by Ray’s camp and the two of them inhaled
whiskey like water. Isaac woke up in the middle of the night and headed home, but he never made it. A
week later a search and rescue team found Isaac’s body at the bottom of an abandoned mine shaft. Ray
hasn’t touched a drink since then.

We gulped down one last cup of bitter comfort, put some cookies in our pockets, and left the warmth of
the camper. After saddling the horses we untied the corral gate and ushered out a flood of screaming
wool. Turning the herd north up the dirt road, we moved slowly to give them time to suck from the
stream and eat some of the large foliage around the water before shepherding them through the thick
of the forest. The herd was approximately 1,300 strong, although many had been eaten by coyotes
and black bears over the past year. By this point in our journey there were several ewes which had
solid limps in their steps from getting tangled up in sage brush and twisting their legs on rocks. The day
before, one of the older ewes got caught in some bushes and broke her back. She persisted to stay in
the flock but we could see her dire injury better than she could feel it. We had to leave her behind.

My guide across the wilderness was a trusty steed named Desert Horse. My boss had bought him
years back from the Idaho State Correctional Facilities where he was trained by inmates. I was also
accompanied by Yellow Horse, a lean mare with a white mane and matching tail who never left my
side, as well as two dogs, Porcupine and Chubby. Porcupine was a border collie and Chubby’s breed
was unknown. The two of them were never properly trained, so while they did okay staying with the
herd, they would often get too aggressive and bite the sheep in the ass, causing a huge group of them to
rumble off in the wrong direction. Half the time we were chasing sheep through the forest because of
those goddamn dogs. At one point the flock was completely scattered. Ray got off his horse and started
using Chubby as a target for the handfuls of rocks he collected out of anger. In contrast to their typical
uselessness, occasionally they would surprise us by chasing down some wandering sheep that went lost
and herd them back into the flock. I’m still convinced it was pure luck that they ever pushed them in the
right direction.


The sun was still too low to penetrate through the thick of the trees which allowed the thin sheet of ice
to remain blanketed across the woodland undergrowth. As we moved through the forest the frozen
ground crunched under the weight of all 5,200 hooves, causing a loud crackle to echo through the hills.
The first freeze of fall had come and gone, and with it a kaleidoscope of color smeared across every
hillside, leaving in its trail a wave of red, orange, and yellow that dispersed among the thick dark pines.
We rode slowly and watched as the sun illuminated Mother Nature’s autumn canvas.

But our tranquil moment didn’t last long. Within fifteen minutes one of the black ewes, or as we
called them, the “black bitches,” had led a group of a couple hundred sheep off the path and down the
backside of a rocky hill. I took off after them at a steady pace and began hollering to get their attention.
“Hey, Hey, Hey!” I yelped with one hand cupping the side of my mouth while galloping down the hillside,
when all of a sudden—SMACK! My vision immediately went black as my head shot backwards and
my neck snapped. In the midst of my pursuit I took my eyes off the trail and Desert Horse afforded
me a face-full of timber. I managed to remain on the horse, but my hat went flying and the branch left
me with blood dripping down my face. My naiveté in equestrianism quickly and painfully set in as I
dismounted my horse and tried to gather my surroundings. I hiked back up to my hat, wiped the blood
from my face, and then led the horses on foot for a bit while shaking off the ringing in my head.

Besides the occasional group of misdirected ewes that would scatter off, the flock was familiar with the
journey. For many of the seasoned mothers they had made this trip on several occasions. They knew
where the water holes were and the easiest routes between the valleys and hills. The pace was slow but
steady, which gave Ray and I time to continue all the conversations that were cut short and provided
us much needed piss breaks. During our down time, Ray taught me some basic Navajo phrases, and I
inquired as to what a shepherd does with his money. Up until the last couple years he would send the
majority of his earnings back to his family on the reservation, until one day he returned home to find
them blowing his earnings on drugs and booze. Nowadays he saves his money and doesn't talk to his
family.

With only a couple miles left we began ascending down out of the forest and into the valley where we
found our route blocked by a newly fashioned wood fence. The confusion caused a mix up that sent
a small number of ewes trekking the wrong direction. It took us a while but we eventually turned all
the sheep around except one. Every time we yelled and tried to turn her back, she would venture off
further into unfamiliar territory. After a thorough attempt to shuffle the lonely ewe down the mountain
Ray said, “She’s blind, and deaf. She’s only made it this far by staying tucked between the others.
Without that touch she is dead. Leave her.” We watched her scamper off to a certain demise.

Once we arrived in the valley the sheep scampered off to their familiar feeding spots and water holes.
Ray and I dismounted, removed the horses’ saddles and laid beneath some withered shrubs. We pulled
our hats down past our eyes while the whistling wind sang us to sleep.

We're moving! (UPDATE)

Thursday, September 6, 2012


photo by meg. guatemala '08

Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty. 
– Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

thanks to Kent for writing our story...

Five days.  I had exactly five days to move the majority of our possessions to Boise, find and sign on an apartment, and hopefully make some good leads on possible job opportunities.  Ready for a change of scenery and driven by our not-so-secret love of Boise, we decided the City of Trees was to be our next stop in life.
 
Venturing through the parched  landscape of the Palouse with no AC, my only solace came from the free Styrofoam cups of gas station ice I frequently applied to my forehead, arms, and back.  Each cup of ice quickly melted and evaporated off my body, much like the burning Oregon countryside fading into the atmosphere.  Without radio or an iPod hookup, I relied on a 99 cent thrift store book-on-tape, Native American Wisdom, to distract me from my thoughts.  “It does not require many words to speak the truth,” the sayings of Chief Joseph resonated as I raced down the four lane highway that cuts through the land his people “sold” to the government.  After fighting to return home for 25 years he died in exile, never to see the country of his forefathers again.  The doctor said he died “of a broken heart.”

My few days as a Boise resident were brief, yet exhilarating, uneventful, yet life changing.  Rolling into the city I set my clock forward an hour and changed all my preset radio stations to the local channels.  I oriented myself with all the important landmarks one must become familiar with in a new city: the bank, the library, the cheapest gas stations, and the local super markets.  I found the biking trails, checked out the Green Belt, and even met the infamous former governor of Idaho, Cecil Andrus.  Yup, I was on my way to becoming a full-fledged Idahoan.  As I wandered up and down the one-way streets of Bo-Do I envisioned all of the great adventures in store for us there.

And yet, these ideas were surprisingly unsettling.  The more I familiarized myself with everything, the more disconnected I felt.  It wasn’t the city, the people, the neighborhoods, or the atmosphere.  Anyone would be lucky to live in such a wonderful place.  It was the fact that my actions, my desires, were not in alignment with my dreams.  These conscious pricks worked on my mind like a metronome, but were brushed aside quickly.

 After several days of apartment hustling I went by one of the major hospitals in the area to get an update on the job applications I had submitted.  Dressed in a snappy suit and carrying my resume I introduced myself to the HR director in hopes to set myself apart from the other candidates.  “I’m sorry sir, but everything must be done online.  We don’t accept paper resumes and we’ll contact you if we want to do an in person interview,” she immediately replied.  “Oh, okay,” I proceeded, “well, my goal in stopping by was to help put a face with the applications and hopefully sit down with someone to discuss my qualifications.”  She insisted. “Again, sir, there is nothing here for you.”  There is nothing here for me?  Perplexed, I thanked her and left.
 
Later that night I was lying on a friends’ bed pondering my situation and decided to read a small e-book my brother-in-law had sent me called Impossible: The Manifesto by Joel Runyon.   The author makes the case that life is an adventure that is not to be contained by societal norms nor ruled by the wishes of others.  Essentially, it’s a call to action.  It’s a challenge to push your limits and live the life that you have always envisioned.  Through his own words, Runyon put a modern spin on classic transcendentalist principles, and although I had read the works of Thoreau, Emerson, and Muir, it wasn’t until this moment that I realized I had been sacrificing my dreams to satisfy someone else’s ideas about life.  And then it hit me.  I can’t move here, not now.  If we were ever going to do something different, this was the time. We had no apartment contract, no car payment, and no demanding jobs.  I instantly realized just how easy a big change could be. Beginning to panic, I called Megan and made my case for why we should take advantage of that freedom.

“I think we should drop everything and move to Guatemala,” I blurted.  Then, in typical Megan fashion and without hesitation she said, “Let’s do it.”  For years we had dreamed of moving to Guatemala to be closer to her family, to polish our Spanish, and to have an adventure.  However, this dream had been perpetually on hold as we fulfilled our scholarly duties.  And when school was not interfering there was always some other reason why we shouldn’t go—not enough money, time, security, etc.  But as we talked we realized that these limitations were not real.  They were illusions that we created to justify our inaction. This recognition gave us the confidence we needed to make the change.

Within a week we sold 90 percent of our belongings, bought one-way plane tickets to Guatemala City, and landed employment opportunities with a non-profit education foundation in Chimaltenango, Guatemala doing photography, marketing and web design.  We will be living there until next May and will be coming back in time for Megan’s wedding season. We still moved out of Spokane, but not to Boise.  Megan’s family was kind enough to offer a place to stay for a couple months, so we are currently living in Heber City, Utah.  In the mean time, I am working on a sheep farm hauling hay and moving pipe, and Megan is cleaning houses in between photo shoots.  Nothing too glamorous, but it’s refreshing.  We've always appreciated change in all its forms.

Thanks for all the excitement and support we've received.  We are fortunate to have such wonderful family and friends.  We look forward to staying in touch!

Cheers,
Kent & Meg

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